As some of you may know, I recently moved from Germany to Australia to live with my partner.
Moving to Germany was relatively easy. Both times that I did it, I either already had a job lined up, contract signed or I found one in a week. Getting around was easy, I was introduced to friends almost immediately and I was in a situation where my cost of living was relatively low. It was such an easy transition, that it made me a bit naive on how hard moving can actually be. And that naïveté rubbed off on my partner as well. He knew me in Germany and heard how easy it was for me to be happy in another country and he was maybe even impressed my this.
He is someone how had to travel for work and moved ever 2-3 months to a new country. Germany was his longest posting, sitting around 6 months. He hated it. He hated moving, trying to find a new squad, filling out the endless forms for work and having to adjust to a new place so often.
All of the things that I loved. At least then.
So, when I moved to Australia to be with him, we just laughed and laughed about how easy this was going to be. Everyone speaks english, I don’t have to go all over town for my visa, since I got it ahead of time, I already have a place to live and money saved up. Peace of cake, right?
Imagine our surprise when the next few months became the best and worst of our lives. Everyday seemed like a struggle. We would go from being madly puppy-dog eyes in LOVE to torturously uncomfortable and withdrawn. Neither of us knew what the other one was feeling, heck, I don’t even think we knew what we were feeling ourselves.
We were just trying to connect while coming to terms with very different things.
He was consumed with worry that I didn’t like it here and facing the fear that I might decide to leave.
I was confused and scared about why I wasn’t immediately happy here like I was in Germany. I couldn’t find a job, I was worried about money, worried about having maybe missed out on our “honey moon” phase, because a lot of our interactions over the last few months were over the phone and computer.
There was so much fear and confusion in our relationship, that I’m honestly surprised that we made it this far.
Valentines Day is coming up and while Im not a huge fan of this holiday, it does make me stop and think about our life together and how far it has come. We have had some bad days, but if I have learned anything, it’s that when you’re having good days, you need to go all in. Don’t spoil a good day with petty drama. Lean into it. When the bad days come, as they always do, you’ll have this bank of good days to look back on to show you it’s all worth it.