I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic.
What people think travelling is like compared to what it is really like, when you’re down there, in the nitty-gritty of it all.
Sometimes I look back at old photos and I see the joy in my face as I am seeing a monument for the first time, something I had only ever seen in books and movies. I think about how far I’ve come from just having a general idea of what I wanted to do to actually accomplishing it.
There are times when I get bogged down with dark thoughts, as I have documented in a few posts recently.
I think, “was this all worth it?”.
Were the panic attacks worth it? Spending all my money on flights? Leaving behind a job that could have been a career? friends and family? Where could I have been if I hadn’t caught the travel ‘bug’ and stayed unsettled over the last 4 years.
I never have an answer.
Every week, there seems to be a morning or night when I just contemplate all my life decisions.
I don’t regret them or think ill of myself for what I have done, I just think..
“Am i supposed to be here?”
Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes it feels like a HELL YES! And sometimes I just stare at the wall until my partner tell me that dinner is ready.
I guess the point is, is that you may never know. Maybe you just have to come to the terms that you made a decision and you are the only one that can make that decision worth it or not.
If you or I slum around feeling bad for ourselves, don’t meet new people and stop doing things that make us happy, because we are constantly worried about if it’s going to work out in the end, then it’s definitely NOT going to work out in the end.
So keep on.
Commit to never having a ‘Zero Day’.
You are the only one deciding if where you are is where you’re meant to be.
Thank you for reading. I hope some of this resonated with you. Sometimes, I just get on here, put my fingers on my keyboard and start typing about something that has been nagging at me for a while. This was something I didn’t even know I was going to write about until it started happening, but I’m glad I did 🙂
These are my favourite ways to get some of my feels and insecurities out about something I feel ashamed complaining about because it’s so many people’s “dream life”. But, I also want to take responsibility for the fact that I am in full control of my life and how I see the world.