As I’ve mentioned before, I recently moved to Australia to finally be in the same country as my boyfriend.
I didn’t just move here to work and travel and live separately from him, but to make the huge step of actually moving in with him and starting this new life.
We knew this is what we wanted to do and there was no real reason to ease into it for us. We knew that we wanted to have a “trial by fire” and that if it didn’t work out with us, we wanted to know in a few months rather than a few years.
SOO, we did that.
We started our trial and in my very short (yet feels so long) few weeks here, we have put out many a fire and have been caught alight a few more times than I am willing to admit.
I always thought I was a pretty good communicator, that if I want something, it’s pretty easy for me to just come out and ask for it, but I’m starting to realize that that is not the case.
Turns out, I get pretty bitchy and do all the things I have heard over the years NOT to do. Like expecting someone to read your mind, giving out hints and signals instead of actual words, and my favorite, getting defensive over something for no reason, just to turn around and say you don’t really care anyway.
Moving in together has brought out some behaviors in me that I haven’t experienced since my teens. Maybe that means that I need to talk to a therapist and get some help? Maybe. But that costs $$$ and I am currently unemployed, so I guess I’ll just tell everyone about it and hope I get some kick-ass advice.
So, here’s some advice from a new-ist relationship, long-turned (very) short distance, freshly moved-in together lady trying not to strangle her man.. give it time. Whatever it is, give it time. Nothing is as bad as you think it is in the moment. Drink some water, take a bite of chocolate, take a (VERY) hot shower (don’t forget to cry a little) and over moisturize.
Do this every time you feel overwhelmed and at the end you’ll be thinking clearer and be soft as hell.
Thanks for reading! I hope this has helped at least a few of you. It always helps to write all of this out and kind of be able to read it from an outside perspective. It’s like my rational self is writing an advice column to my chaotic self.
Any advice? I’m keen to hear!