I’m moving to Australia in a few weeks to live closer to my boyfriend.
Am I excited? of course.
Have I also cried every day of the last 2 weeks? Sure have.
I am excited about moving, but there are always things that nag in my mind before a big move. This happened before I went to Germany and also before I moved back to the states for the first time since leaving.
The nagging thought of..
Am I Making the Right Choice?
Maybe. Maybe not.
I have learned over the year that there is never a way to know if what you’re doing is the right choice until you actually do it. In daily life this is pretty easy. Should I get the PSL instead of the Vanilla Bean Latte? Don’t know. Try it and then you just know. Just like that!
Moving abroad, especially to be with another person is so much more complicated and there is so much more at stake.
Will we get along when I get there? Will the love fade once we are in the same place? Will I hate Australia? Will I make friends, find a job, like the weather??
There are so many unknowns.
The thing is, I have bought my ticket, my visa and my health insurance. My boyfriend has a place for us and a car. Both of us have invested so much into our new lives and neither of us know if this will last. How can you know??
At what point can you cut and run? I guess at any point, but that fucks a lot of shit up.
When I start spiraling like this, I always have to come back to my senses with reason.
If we don’t work, I can always find a job in Germany. I have money saved, I can always buy a ticket out or use it if I cant find a job right away. Friends are easy to find, it’s just a pain to get started on the search. So many people like Australia, there has to be a reason why. I just need to learn to surf and start eating Acai bowls and I’m sure it will change my opinion.
When I think logically, there aren’t reasons in my head of why it won’t work, but there is something about getting ready to fly in a plane for 25 hours with everything you own that really gets your head spinning on “is it worth it?”
Basically, what I want to say is that even if you are making the best decision of your life, there will always be these nagging doubts that pop up right before you actually do the damn thing. Don’t let this stop you from doing what you really want. Your brain is just trying to protect you from some imaginary enemy and sending your mind into overdrive.
Take a breath. Think about your life. Will this decision help you in accomplishing that goal? Make a plan (and a back up plan if possible) and then do it! Don’t let the nagging bits of your brain determine your future.
Thanks for reading!